


Nachtigall

by Vizkopa



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood, Body Horror, F/M, Gore, Horror, Yandere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-16 00:20:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3467435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vizkopa/pseuds/Vizkopa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>He called you his Nightingale. You thought it sweet. But behind his honeyed words, was there something more sinister at play?</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lullabies

You knew Erwin had nightmares. He put on his mask during the day – as the commander, he had to. But you could see they were wearing him down. You never approached him about it, and he never told anyone, but you knew. He seemed unaware that you could hear him. At night when you lay awake, still drenched in a cold sweat from your own dreams, his cries echoed down the hall. You had no doubt the others could hear too, but it went unspoken. They all knew there was nothing they could do for him – they were all too busy dealing with their own demons, demons with gaping, dripping maws that thundered through their unconsciousness thoughts.

One night you woke crying from such a dream, shivering uncontrollably in the claustrophobic space you shared with the other female team leaders. You knew they were awake – you could hear their shuddering breaths as they cried themselves to sleep. But they said nothing as you slid from beneath the covers and wrapped your evergreen cloak about your shoulders, slipping carefully from the room and letting the door fall silently shut behind you.

You were surprised, and somewhat relieved, to find the halls silent that night. Sometimes Erwin’s shouts would find their way into your dreams and you would watch him die over and over in your mind until you managed to jolt yourself awake. As you crept past his door, you pressed your ear briefly to the wood, but heard only silence. Perhaps tonight he had managed to find some respite from his demons. You smiled to yourself and left him to his sleep, creeping out the front doors of the barracks and into the night air.

Though winter had ended weeks ago, the wind was chilly and your coat flapped around your body, the Wings of Freedom fluttering at your back. You only wished they were real so you could fly away from that place. You hated the feeling of being trapped, by those walls or by the jaws of a monster, there was no difference. The only time you felt truly free was when you were flying amongst the colossal evergreens of the forest to the song of steel wires and rushing wind.

As you wandered further into the grounds, the cool pre-dawn air worked its way into your lungs and you felt less stifled. The wind whipped away the bad dreams and you found yourself softly singing a lullaby your mother used to sing when you were young. As they did all those years ago, the words soothed your troubled mind.

The melody was broken when you heard a fallen branch behind you snap and you felt a presence hovering nearby. You whirled around to find Erwin watching you, smiling sheepishly.

"I’m sorry if I scared you,” he said. “Please, don’t stop.” 

There was a hint of something unfamiliar in his eyes that made you hesitate, but at his silent prompting you picked up the tune where you had left off. He sighed contentedly as he sank down onto the grass and with his back propped against the trunk of a tree, he watched you. His gaze unnerved you and you found yourself turning away to escape his searching eyes, but the back of your neck prickled unpleasantly and you knew they never left you for the duration of the song.

When you finished, the sun had already peeked above the rim of the horizon and you could hear the first of early risers stirring in the barracks behind you. The stable hands would be up soon to tend to the horses.

“Commander, perhaps we should go back inside now.”

He did not reply, and when you turned to look at him, you found him fast asleep, head resting gently against the tree as if it were made of the softest down pillow. His handsome face was for once free of worry lines and you smiled. He looked at peace. It was still cold out, fog and frost clinging to the hills in the distance, so you left your cloak with him before heading inside for breakfast.

You did not see Erwin again until lunch, where he approached you, the same sheepish smile on his face that he had worn the night before.

“I… apologise for this morning,” he said, not quite meeting your gaze. “I have your cloak. I thought it best not to return it to you where people could see in case it… raised unwanted questions.”

You nodded, grateful.

“You can come by my office after dinner to pick it up.” With that, he turned to leave, but seemed to think better of it and turned back to you. “And [Name]? Thank you… I haven’t slept that well in years.”

“It was my pleasure, Commander,” you said, smiling softly.

Later that night, you knocked lightly on his door. When he opened it for you, he looked exhausted, the flickering candlelight catching in the bags under his eyes, giving him a ghastly appearance. His hair was slightly tousled and there were ink stains on his sleeve. Nevertheless, he gave you a tired smile as he opened the door wider for you to enter.

“I’ve been writing condolence letters,” he said, as if it explained everything. Brushing off your look of concern, he took a neatly folded pile of fabric off his desk and passed it to you. “I know I’ve already said it, but thank you.”

“It was nothing, really. I’m just glad you got some sleep. You work yourself way too hard, Erwin.” You reached out to take the cloak and your fingers brushed his unintentionally. You blushed. “S-sorry…” You went to withdraw your hand but Erwin held fast to the cloak, his face suddenly thoughtful.

“Would you… sing for me again?”

You blinked. “What?”

“Tonight. Right now. Sing for me.” You weren’t sure if it was the dim lighting or your imagination, but his eyes seemed to darken. 

“Commander, I really should be getting to bed. With the expedition only a few weeks away…” 

“Please,” he added in barely a whisper but you could hear the unrestrained desperation in his tone.

You sighed in defeat. “Alright.”

Without a word, he took the candle from his desk and proceeded to the adjacent room. Unsure of what to do, you followed him, not wanting to be left alone in his now dark office. When you reached the open door, you blushed and immediately turned away from the sight that greeted you.

Erwin was deftly unbuckling his manoeuvre gear harness, fingers working away at the fastenings with practiced ease. His bolo tie hung loose around his neck and the top buttons of his shirt were already undone to reveal a sliver of his toned chest. He chuckled to himself as he spotted you by the door, stiff-backed and adamantly facing the wall, a deep blush extending across your cheeks and down your neck.

“Sorry, I should have warned you.”

“N-no problem.” Your blush only deepened as you heard the distinct rustling of clothes behind you and you pressed yourself further into the wall, eyes shut tight.

“You can turn around now,” he said and you could still hear the smile in your voice.

You checked from the corner of your eye to be sure he was indeed fully clothed, and you were relieved to find him in a pair of loose fitting pants and a white shirt that hugged his muscular form. Your cheeks were still a little pink, but you looked to him for what to do next.

“Pull up a chair.”

You cast your gaze round the sparsely furnished room and found what you were looking for by the window. You pulled the chair up to Erwin’s bedside as he clambered below the covers. He grimaced.

“When you’re a child, tucked between warm sheets seems like the safest place to be. But now even they hold no comfort for me. For any of us…”

You said nothing and instead began humming quietly to yourself, letting your throat warm up to the melody before opening your mouth to the lyrics. Erwin sighed deeply and sank back into the pillows, closing his eyes to the sound. By the end of the song, he was in a deep and dreamless sleep.

Your work done, you rose to leave, casting one last glance at his sleeping face. A sudden urge came over you and before you even realised what you were doing, you had pressed a feather light kiss to Erwin’s temple. His brow furrowed slightly at the tickling sensation of your lips but smoothed again when you whispered goodnight and blew out the candle before taking your leave. You didn’t think about what others would say if they saw you leaving the Commander’s chambers at night, you didn’t think about the awkwardness of the situation. There was only a small fluttering in your chest at the thought of him needing you.

The next day, you were glad to see Erwin’s dark circles had lessened. He still wore his stern mask around the others, but when his eyes sought out yours at lunch, they softened with gratitude and he let a small smile grace his features. Just for you.

After dinner, he cornered you in the hallway, his eyes alight with laughter as he whisked you away into a secluded corner. Your back was against the wall and he was so close that he was overwhelming your senses. 

“[Name]…” he murmured, his nose buried in your hair.

“I t-take it you slept well, Commander?” you stuttered out, willing yourself not to get lost in his scent of clean laundry and-

_And what? Strange…_ you thought. _He doesn’t really smell like anything._

He hummed softly, breathing you in. “I did. For a while. But I woke up before dawn again and couldn’t get back to sleep.”

You face fell. “Oh… I’m sorry. I guess I didn’t really help in the end, did I?”

“It was still the best I’ve slept in a long time.” He pulled back and looked at you with eyes full of hope, and a hint of something else you could not decipher. “Will you sing for me again tonight?”

Before you even realised what you were doing, you nodded. “O-of course, Commander.”

His answering smile made you heart skip a beat and he was whisking you away to his chambers. You waited in his office this time while he changed, though you could not deny that the state you had seen Erwin in last night made you want to see more. You immediately scolded yourself for the thought. He was your superior. He was off limits.

You shook the thought from your head as he gave you the okay to enter. You made to pull up the chair again but he tugged you over to the bed, sitting you lightly on the edge before climbing beneath the covers. He rubbed his temples lightly with his fingertips and sighed deeply, letting the tension fall from his shoulders. When he turned his eyes to you they were tired, but content.

“It’s been a long day. The thought of seeing you at the end of it, of hearing your voice… It made it everything better.”

You blushed. “Commander…”

“Erwin. Please,” he insisted.

“Erwin…” You did not know what to say, so instead you started to sing. It started out as soft humming while you scoured your brain for the words, then the lyrics followed the tune. 

When you looked over to find his eyes closed and his breathing even, you stood to leave, but the shifting of your weight from the bed must have alerted him. His hand darted out from beneath the sheets to grasp your wrist in a firm grip and he spun you back around to face him. His blue eyes seemed to glow ominously in the semi-darkness.

“Stay,” he said.

Your heart rate quickened and your face flushed red. “Commander, I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

He chuckled. “I’m not asking you to do anything but sleep. Stay.”

You still hesitated. “What will the others think when I don’t return to the dorm?”

“Make something up. They’re used to you sneaking out at odd hours anyway.”

You sighed. “If it’ll help…” 

Without a word, he lifted the covers for you to slip in before leaning over to blow out the candle, plunging the room into darkness. You suddenly became very aware of how close he was in the small bunk – close enough to hear every steady rush of breath as it passed between his lips, close enough to feel his body heat against your back. He kept his hands to himself and for that you were grateful. Soon your eyes grew heavy, and before you slipped off to sleep you heard his whisper, the words tickling your neck and rustling your hair.

“ _Goodnight, my little nightingale_.”


	2. Immure

You woke at dawn to the usual sounds of the barracks rising around you, but instead of opening your eyes to the sight of the top bunk hanging dangerously low above your head, you were instead met with open space extending up to an unfamiliar, sun-streaked ceiling. You panicked, casting your eyes around the room before you remembered the events of the night before. Suddenly wide awake, you turned to the body beside you in the narrow bed.

There was barely an inch of space between you and Erwin, though not once during the night had you felt so much as the brush of air when he moved, each and every one of his actions perfectly controlled, even in sleep. Even now, awake and watching you with a peculiar look on his face, he was careful to keep his distance – or as much distance as the limited space would allow. You could not help but feel a rush of gratitude toward him. Not many men would be so respectful.

Your face suddenly flushed with red as you realised your current situation. “Uh… Good morning, Commander…”

He said nothing, his eyes fixed on your face, tracing the line of your brow, your jaw, your lips. His face was unreadable, his expression closed and his eyes held an unfamiliar emotion. You squirmed under his gaze.

“Do… Do I have bed hair or something?” You self-consciously combed your fingers through your hair to tame it, but still you received no answer.

“Commander?”

He shook his head, seeming to come to his senses, though his eyes never left you. “Ah, it’s not that…” he said, his voice strained, the words sticking in his throat. “You’re just… Beautiful.”

You were shocked into silence, your pulse quickening as the inch of space between the two of you rapidly disappeared. He kissed you, long and hard and you were surprised to find yourself kissing him back. When you broke apart, gasping for breath, he cupped your cheek gently.

“My Nightingale, I need you. Will you stay with me? Forever?”

That was the beginning.

The following weeks were filled with secret kisses and stolen moments. Neither of you voiced the need for your relationship to remain hidden, but you both understood the necessity. However, these moments grew less frequent as the next expedition beyond the walls drew closer and both your time was occupied elsewhere with the preparations. Still, you made it a priority to always meet Erwin in his chambers after lights out and sing for him, before falling asleep in his arms. No one questioned where you had been disappearing to each night. They all assumed that you, like the rest of them, simply could not sleep in the face of the rapidly approaching expedition, but the truth was, in those weeks you had never slept better.

In those few weeks, there were things you learned about him that bothered you. Small things, like his apparent lack of scent. When he was in bed, he smelled of fresh linen. When he was in the stables, he smelled of straw. And when he was with you, you could smell your own scent on him, but they never seemed to stick. You thought it strange, but you put it out of your mind and decided to enjoy what scarce moments you could with him. Despite your misgivings, he was still the perfect gentleman.

The night before the expedition, you met Erwin as usual, though he seemed different that night. He was lost in deep thought, his face as unreadable as ever. _The expedition is tomorrow_ , you thought. _He must have so much on his mind…_ But when he turned to you, it was clear it was not the expedition that plagued him.

“[Name], has anyone else heard you sing?”

You thought for a moment. “I don’t think so…”

“Good.” His tone was harsh, urgent. “Keep it that way. I want you all to myself.”

“Oh… Okay.” His words frightened you a little. You did not think that Erwin, master of control, would feel something as petty as jealousy. But your apprehension was washed away when he gave you a warm smile.

“I love you, my Nightingale. I want you to know that before we leave tomorrow.”

You heart fell. _Tomorrow_... Both of you knew your secret meetings would have to stop while outside the walls. You could not afford distractions, and living in such close quarters with the rest of the corps for that long meant your relationship would not stay secret for long.

“Are you afraid?” he asked, pulling you to him so he could trace his thumb over your features, taking in every detail.

“Only of losing you,” you admitted.

“Then you have nothing to worry about. I’ll come back. You just have to promise me you’ll do the same.”

“I promise.”

He kissed you. “I’ll hold you to that.”

That night you sang for him for what would be the last time in a long time. He closed his eyes and savoured it, as if he could engrave the notes in his mind and carry them with him always. This was how you wanted to remember him always, the only time when you could ever read him. The only time you didn’t feel twinge of unexplainable unease that had been with you since the very first night you sang for him.

The morning of the exhibition, you woke alone. You were not sure what you had been expecting – the Commander was a busy man after all. But it hurt all the same. 

The hours before dawn were chaos as last minute preparations were made. Supplies and horse were checked, re-checked and triple checked until finally, the call was sounded to move out. You eyed Erwin at the front of the procession, sitting tall on his snow white stallion. His face was impassive, his eyes never once meeting yours. Once again you were Commander and subordinate and nothing more. You set out with a heavy heart and a troubled mind, falling into the scouting formation with practiced ease. 

The first day passed without too many casualties, a rarity in the Corps. The formation had reached the first base beyond the walls shortly before sunset. Guards were placed to watch for titans while camp was set, though no one dared light any fires until well past dusk in case they attracted unwanted attention.

Dinner was quiet, the mood melancholy. You ate with your squad, Erwin with his squad leaders as he discussed battle plans with them in hushed voices, map spread out on the dusty ground in front of him. The grim silence was suffocating, but no one dared to break it, until Hanji stood up.

“This is driving me crazy. How about lightening the mood a little, huh?”

No one spoke, they only stared at her. She blinked around at everyone.

“Come on, anyone know any folk songs?”

Again, silence.

“[Name]!” you jumped at the sound of your voice. “Sing us a song!”

“Oh, I, uh… I can’t…”

“Nonsense! I know for a fact you have a beautiful voice.” Hanji winked at you and you flushed. How did she know?

You glanced over at Erwin but his spot was empty.

“I guess I could…”

Everyone was listening intently now, waiting for you to start. You took a long, shuddering breath before voicing your first note, soft and pure in the night air. You sang the same lullaby your mother had taught you, the one Erwin loved so much. It flowed so naturally from your lips, making your audience “ooh” and “ah”. You finished to a sweeping round of applause before sinking back into your seat, cheeks pink but a smile on your face.

Not long after, the seated soldiers began to disperse, seeking the warmth of their bed rolls for a few hours of sleep. All of them seemed somewhat happier that before, but the dread of waking up tomorrow was still present. You decided to turn in yourself and as you stood, you thought you caught Erwin watching you from just outside the ring of firelight, his expression stony and cold, but he was soon lost in the bustle and you wondered whether you had even seen him at all.

The goal for the next morning was to make it to the forest of giant trees before the sun had fully risen. There, the Corps would have a greater advantage over any titans that caught your scent. Once inside the cover of the forest, guards could be posted high in the trees for better visibility.

You felt yourself relax immediately as you passed under the shadow of the trees. You knew nowhere was safe beyond the walls, but the great trunks offered you comfort nonetheless. You dismounted and took to the trees on the orders of your squad leader, perching high in the branches and looking out over the plains.

There were a few titans ambling along in the distance, all small and too far away to pose any immediate threat. The wind was blowing away from them and towards you for now, but you kept tabs on it. If it changed suddenly, you could have a fight on your hands.

“[Name]! We’re heading further into the forest to set up the supply point. Keep your eyes peeled!”

“Yes, sir,” you saluted you Squad Leader.

Hours passed without anything eventful on your side of the forest. There were red flares from the east, but you knew that was where Levi’s squad was stationed and you had no doubt they could handle the situation with ease. You felt yourself begin to relax. The sun would be setting soon. Perhaps you could get through the day without having to face a single titan.

Then the wind changed.

You scrambled to your feet as the titans in the distance seemed to catch your scent, changing direction and gathering speed. You fumbled with your flare gun, preparing to fire off a red round, but something in the distance made you freeze.

Something was moving toward you at an alarming speed. Your eyes widened. 

“Aberrant!”

The call sent your squad scrambling to draw their swords. You fired off a black round, though you doubted help would get there in time with the speed the titan was moving. It was on all fours, scuttling like a spider, its mouth wide and drooling. It was upon you before you knew it, a band of smaller titans in tow.

“Wait until they’re inside the ring of trees! Don’t leave your cover no matter what. Let’s dispatch them quickly and-” You were broken off as the aberrant suddenly leapt into the air sailing with open jaws straight at you. You jumped to the side, sending out wires to carry you to safety, but you were buffeted off course and were sent crashing into a tree instead. Dazed, you looked up to find the branch you had previously been standing on was gone.

“Higher, get higher!” you shouted, but if anyone heard you, they did not respond. Hot steam buffeted your face and you were blinded as the battle broke out around you. You heard a scream and a sickening crunch to your right and something hot sprayed against your cheek. 

The next few minutes were a blur. You managed to dispatch a few of the smaller titans. But the aberrant was still out there somewhere. You could hear it crashing around in the undergrowth, but the steam from the fallen titans and the dense trees made it impossible to see. All you knew was that you appeared to be all alone.

Suddenly the zipping of wires caught your attention followed by a great crash, then deafening silence. A figure in an evergreen cloak alighted in front of you, striding forward with a purpose.

“Oh, thank god,” you managed to get out before a pair of strong arms wrapped around you, a pungent smelling cloth pressed over your nose and mouth. The smell invaded your nose and throat and you gagged, trying to shake of the creeping darkness at the corners of your vision.

You heard a voice in your ear as the forest and the stranger faded to black.

“ _I’m sorry, Nightingale_.”

You woke to darkness and silence, your back propped against a cold, hard surface. You strained your eyes to see through the gloom, only to realise you had been blindfolded. You could not feel your arms or legs, only a faint tingling in your extremities. Had you been drugged? Or were you simply bound so tight you had lost feeling? You tried wiggling your fingers to no avail. They were numb and would not respond to your will. Your toes also refused to listen. It seemed the only thing you could move was your head, and you tossed it from side to side, trying to listen for any sounds that would give you a clue to where you were. 

Footsteps sounded in the room. From the noise, it seemed as if the floor was made of stone and that confused you. Both the living quarters and the hospital ward had wooden flooring. Where were you?

“Erwin?” Your voice quaked slightly.

“Shhh, it’s alright little Nightingale. I’m here.”

You relaxed at the soothing tone of his voice and his gentle touch against you cheek, but he made no move to relieve you of your blindfold before pulling away, severing your anchor to the world and leaving you drifting in the dark once again. You tried to focus on his breathing, soft and controlled.

“Erwin, where am I? What happened? My squad… Oh god, all of them…” Unwillingly, tears began to fall, quickly soaking through the cloth and falling to the floor, their collisions echoing in the stone room.

He did not comfort you. He did not touch you nor answer your questions. He waited for the tears to slow before changing the subject.

“Do you remember the promises you made to me the night before the expedition?”

“Y-yes, why?”

“Are you aware that you broke those promises?” His voice was stern, uncaring. 

You were speechless.

“You said your voice was for my ears only and yet you let others hear. You said you would return to me alive and yet if it weren't for me, you would have died in that forest. It hurts to be lied to, Nightingale.”

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered.

“How can I believe that you really are sorry? Such a pretty voice, but you use it to spin only lies.”

“No!”

“But don’t worry. You can make it up to me. We have all the time in the world now.”

You froze. “What do you mean?”

“You said you’d be mine forever, and that’s one promise I can be sure you’ll keep. After all, you won’t be going anywhere now. not ever.”

You felt a tugging as long, deft fingers works at the knot at the back of your head. 

The blindfold fell away and you blinked up at him. He knelt over you, his face half hidden in shadow. His gaze shifted from your face to trail down your body and he seemed saddened by what he saw.

“Such a shame… But alas, a caged bird no longer has any use for its wings.”

You followed his gaze and screamed at what you saw.

Your arms had been severed above the elbow, your legs above the knee, all bound tight in tourniquets and bloodied bandages. They tingled with phantom pain as you tried in vain to wake yourself from the nightmare, for that was all it could be.

You did not remember passing out, but when you came to, the memories flooded back – the man in the forest, the pungent scent that clogged your nose and throat, the numbness in your limbs.

_I’m sorry, Nightingale…_

Erwin was still there watching you. You did not have the energy to scream or cry at him anymore. You felt hollow. Everything you were, everything you had been had all flowed away with the tears until there was nothing left. But like Pandora’s Box, there was the tiniest glimmer of hope.

“S-someone will come looking for me,” you said, voice hoarse. Yes. Someone would notice your absence, surely. And when they did…

“I wouldn’t count on that. By all accounts, [Name], you died along with the rest of your squad. I signed the death certificate myself.”

And just like that, that hope was extinguished. Cold dread clutched your heart. No one was coming. No one would even suspect a thing. Escape was hopeless, but there was still one thing you could do to ensure your freedom. You took your tongue between your teeth. What would he do when he found he had no use for you? It didn’t matter. Nothing could be worse than this. You steeled yourself.

“Uh uh uh,” he tutted and you gave a muffled cry as a wad of cloth was forced into your mouth. “Such a bad little bird.”

You hung your head in defeat. You tried to cry, but you had nothing left to give. You didn’t even try to fight him as he re-applied the blindfold, plunging you into darkness again.

“Go to sleep, little Nightingale. I’ll be back later.” He kissed your forehead and you flinched away from his touch as if it were poison. There was silence for a moment, then footsteps followed by a loud grating and a slam of metal on stone. 

You were left with silence as your only companion.


End file.
